........................
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Thy shu nu in question is retaliating!
This is like, so, not-correct!
Eeehh, the correct behavior is to act pathetic! Cry! Weep! But dont bawl ok? Bawling is so not-shu-nu.
Come come, let Zheng An'an the Great teach you the correct way to react when faced with a seemingly similiar situation! Hoohoo, you're gonna be so so greatful to me!
Firstly, start to panic. Because you must be wondering, "WHY?? I dint do anything wrong what. Why scold me like that? I am like, so sad, so INNOCENT! MAMI.. Why are those girls so bad one. I dint do anything bad to them. I treat all my friends so good. I want all my friends well. Why.....?"
After the initial hysteria, call a MALE ally for HELP. Sob as hard as possible during the conversation. And, in between sobs, keep lamenting, "I really never do anything wrong... Are they talking about me..?" Keep crying! Sob hard! Weep! To be more Drama-Mama, choke between tears and cough loudly!
Try to get as much help as posibble. Act like you're so feeble, pretend you might faint the next second.
To get the look that you cried yourself to sleep the night before, keep rubbing your eyes, try throwing sand in(that is if you are stupid and desperate enough). If I were to try that look for myself, I'd vote for the easier way out and apply some blusher on the eyelids! But then I dont think I'd ever have that chance to, because I dont act!
Wait outside lecture room the first thing in the morning. Burst into tears right infront of the first person approaching. Crumble down in pain. When that "sway" person ask you what's wrong, fight back your tears bravely and say, "No.. Nothing's wrong..".
Oh, this moment, you've suceeded! Every male friend of yours will want to save you, the damsel in distress, out of your troubles.
Maybe can get them all to help you while you sit back, relax, and enjoy the show?
>.*
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Why ah? Why are you retaliating?
Ahhh... I know!
I know! I know! I know! I know!!
Because school term is ending soon! Dont need to put up with all the "silent sufferings" anymore!
Hmm, most importantly is, we dont have any use for you already right?
I am so SMART.
You dont drink? You sure? So whom did I see gulping down that bottle of alcohol shamelessly in suntec last year?
You dont club? Yea. Because MAMI ground you up at home from 11pm, doesnt she?
If clubbing is such a bad entertainment, then whom did I see at DXO that night? Shamelessly clad in a sleeveless top somemore. Ohhhh.. Maybe just some horny bitch next door ah?
Nonono. DEFINITELY not the "Oh so INNOCENT" Xiao Mei MEI.
I dont know of the fact people whom dont smoke will get to live longer.
Let me see. What if the driver of a car suddenly decides that you looked damn INNOCENT and in his haste to take a closer look, bangs onto you.
Now now, get the picture already? You shall die earlier than me. In fact, you'll die so much earlier than the rest of us.
I use vulgarities("speak vulgar language" --> aiyo, what language is this)? You sure? Which part of you hear that? That is like, so untrue lor. I only use vulgarities in the virtual world(here la), unless you consider "ta ma de" a form of vulgarity too.
And yes, people got eyes. They can see I'm right. I always am. Dont need to elaborate on that part. I am never wrong.
Unique personality. Hmm. "Unique", what a profound word to use.
"Unique" = "Weird".
Yes, I do think you're weird. Your life is so pretentious and full of lies. You have hardly any real friends and I doubt so you'll get any in the near future. Woah.
Really UNIQUE.
Aiya, continue your unique lifestyle if you so want to.
LIN PEIJIN . You are worse, when compared with dirt. Stop giggling at silly babies' voices. It's irritating.
Oh, and one more thing to note, its third year already. Your guts seemed to have balloned overnight.
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Enough for the bad things.
Now, I wonder, why, WHY DO I HAVE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS?!!
I am so evil. I poke at their flabs, give them silly nicknames, choose television programmes instead of them..
I try my best to cheat Shangri-la from them, paste pictures of bananas over their face..
Made them wait for me after my work, made them wait for me while I over sleep.
Laugh at them when they spill food all over dining tables, spit eggs all over them(this one is accidental one ok!).
Insist that they and their partners are of different race when its pretty obvious they are pure Chinese.
I treat them so badly, yet, they return evil with kindness.
They accompanied me through my darkest days.
Accompanied me for some of my Maths lectures.
Dug their fingers into my throat when I got drunk and couldnt puke.
Provides me with more tissue than enough.
Help me with all my projects and schoolwork.
AND,
They pop-ed up out of nowhere halfway during my work and present me with this:
God, tell me, why do I have such great friends?!
I know la, must be because I am nice right?
Hee.
Minimising the picture somehow give a clearer view of the words engraved on that heavenly piece of choco delight.
That's Ah Seng enjoying that precious piece of chocolate! Can see him savor the chocolate with great enjoyment.
You know the taste, when you bite into the drak chocolate, the raspbery simply melts into your tongue.
Ahhh... Heavenly.
Thanks, my bestest Besties.
You guys never fail to brighten up my day.
..to be continued..
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